Check back often for the latest jokes.

Got a Bush Joke?  Send it to jokes@gwbushjokes.com.  Hint: Recycled Quayle/Moron/Blonde Jokes work well.

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Other humorous Bush sites (from gwbush.com):

"Today, the United Nations approved a resolution to lift the sanctions against Iraq. ... Yeah, the move will allow Iraqis to buy things they don't have, such as medicine and weapons of mass destruction." -Conan O'Brien

"The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." -Bill Maher

"All over Baghdad, Iraqi looters have been breaking into banks and walking out with millions of dollars in Iraqi money. As a result, they now qualify for President Bush's tax cut." -Conan O'Brien

"In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. ... The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole." -Jon Stewart

"White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said that while President Bush is monitoring the situation in Iraq, he is leaving the day-to-day decision making to the military experts. First they kick Geraldo out, then we rescued that female soldier, now we find out Bush isn't making the decisions. No wonder the stock market went up today." -Jay Leno

"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob." -Conan O'Brien

"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'" -Conan O'Brien

"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular." -Jay Leno

"New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut." -Craig Kilborn

"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida." -Jay Leno

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." -David Letterman

"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" -Craig Kilborn

"As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline." -Jay Leno

"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education – anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda – and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." -Jay Leno

"President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?" -Jay Leno

Below are older jokes from before the last election:

How many George Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb?
2 , 1 to change it and 1 to lethally inject the old lightbulb. (from Valerie, Thanks!)

Why does George W. Bush keep his fly open? (from Sharon, Thanks!)
A: In case he has to count to eleven.
So why doesn't he just use his toes?
A: Because going barefoot in public would be embarrassing.

A club in New York has designated every Tuesday night until the election "Bush Jr. Night."   You get in free if your parents call and make your reservation. 

Q: What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? A: Second grade. 

Bush's original idea for a campaign slogan -  "Reform 'N Stuff." 

George W. Bush said he is going to run his own campaign and be his own man. The amazing thing is he said this while his father was drinking a glass of water. 

A touching father and son moment:
BUSH Sr.: Read my nose: no new taxes. 
BUSH Jr: Er ..... Isn't that's meant to be "Read my lips." 
BUSH Sr.: No, Son. If they watch my lips, they'll see that I'm lying through my teeth. Read my nose, no new taxes. 

What did Mickey Mouse get for Christmas? 
A George W. Bush watch. 

How can you tell George W. Bush apart from a cow? By the wise look in its eyes. 

(Warning, the following was actually a Dan Quayle quote, but why think up new Bush material when we can just recycle all the Quayle stuff) "Julian Bond, speaking at a Big Eight Conference on Black Student Government at the University of Colorado Feb 18 had this to say about George W. Bush: 'He thinks Roe v. Wade are options for crossing the Potomac.'" 

What's the difference George Bush and a chimpanzee?  One has nearly the mental abilities of a human child and the other likes to eat bananas.

George Bush on his upbringing- "Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished." (not a real quote)

Top 5 Bush Pickup lines in college :
5. "Is that a false nose?"
4. "You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno." 
3. "I'm drunk." 
2. "You're ugly but you intrigue me."
1. "I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that." 

Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People! 

What is a Bush supporter? What the governor wears under his swimming trunks. 

A Bush foreign policy idea designed to win over minority voters -  Appoint a black man as ambassador to the Bermuda Triangle. 

Why will they bury George W. Bush face down? So he can see where he is going. 

How many George Bushs does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to promise he'll do it better than anyone else, and one to obscure the issues. 

How can you tell if George W. Bush is lying? His lips are moving.

How many Bush supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Six, one to turn the bulb and five to create a related tax loophole for the rich  . 

What happens when you cross James Dean with George Bush? You get a rebel without a clue. 

Seen on a rest room wall in Houston: If you voted for George Bush, you can't shit here...your asshole is in Austin. 

George Bush Jr. 
Georgy Porgy pudding and pie, Took cocaine which made him high, When the sheriff came his way, Georgy's pa sent him away. 
Georgy Porgy wasn't daft, Wanted to avoid the draft, He found being a coward not too hard, Daddy's friends got him into the guard. 
Georgy Porgy businessman With daddy's money his career began, When the seed money all dried up, Georgy's business went belly up. 
Georgy Porgy governor guy Brought the crime rate up so high, And that was not his only solution, Texas is number one on pollution. 
Georgy Porgy for President, Does not know where the money all went. But if he has to fight Al Gore, His daddy's friends will get him more. 
Georgy Porgy's a true Texan, Though he may fail again and again, As long as his father has wealthy friends, He'll do to us, what he did to them. 

Why is George Bush so hard-headed? His skull protects the weakest part of his body.